IKEA Bliss
by Flames101
Summary: JJ attempts to 'gently' encourage Hotch to use the IKEA provided instructions. One-shot. Chit Chat on Author's Corner Round 4: Pick Your Own Pairing Challenge Fic.


**A/N:** Hello! So here's a little one-shot I wrote for Chit Chat on Author's Corner Round 4 Pick Your Own Pairing Challenge. For this challenge I got to pick my own pairing, but the situation was assigned. Here's mine: Character A and B put together an IKEA© storage system. So, here it is. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds, nor do I have any affiliation with IKEA©. Both are being borrowed for this story.

**IKEA© Bliss:**

* * *

JJ was quietly stirring sugar into her tea in the kitchen of her brand new home when an outraged outburst, coming from the living room, caused her hand to jump. Needless to say, tea overflowed from her cup all over the counter.

She let out a sigh, absently shaking her head from side to side, silently scolding her frustrated husband. She grabbed a moist towel off the counter and wiped down her mess.

'Time for round 2,' she thought, amused.

JJ walked the short distance from the kitchen to the living room and came upon a cringe-worthy sight. The beautiful living room, with the cream colored walls, and the intricately tiled floors, with the cozy fireplace, the one she'd fallen in love with the moment they'd stepped into it had now been reduced to looking like an IKEA store junkyard.

She couldn't help but frown as she glanced from one end of the room to the other and all she could see were various indescribable metal and wood pieces all over. And then she glanced at her husband, the very eye of the storm that was her precious living room.

Hotch had an expression on his face that was a mixture of determination, frustration, and anger. JJ had to admit that he looked adorable as he tried to figure out how to fit together a triangle shaped bracket piece to a long flat wood piece. But she knew he wouldn't see the sight the same way.

She opened her mouth to comment but he cut her off.

"No," he said gently, but firmly.

"No what?" she asked, trying to keep the smirk off her face.

He looked up at her, his expression changing to just a regular displeased frown. The frustration and anger he felt were solely for the contraption he was attempting to build.

"No, I am not going to call Dave or Morgan or Emily," Hotch let her know. "Nope, not even Reid or Penelope."

"But Aaron—" she tried again.

"No," he said once again, and then he went back to his wood and metal bits.

JJ stared at him in annoyance. Ok, enough was enough. He'd been at this for nearly three hours and so far all she could see that had gotten done was a shelf piece standing upright, perpendicular to the floor, some how mounted to another piece she thought was also a shelf piece. It was all wrong.

"Fine," she said sternly.

Hotch glanced up in surprise at the seriousness of her tone. Up until now she'd tried to be all gentle and encouraging, but if she continued that tactic her living room would remain a war zone forever.

"Fine?" he replied unsurely.

He had a glint of fear in his eyes, which JJ knew should rightly be there. It wasn't often she got annoyed, but when she did things were sure to happen.

She didn't answer him right away; first, she scanned the entire room looking for one thing in particular.

"Aha!" she shouted, when she spotted a few sheets of paper stuffed half under one of the sofa's cushions.

She pulled them out and turned back to Hotch. When Hotch caught sight of what she held dread came into his eyes.

"JJ, no," he protested.

"Yes," she replied adamantly.

Not being able to join him on the floor in her present condition, she pushed aside some baggies full of various screws and sat down on the sofa.

"No, not the instructions," he continued. "Look, I can figure this out without them, ok."

She gave him a 'yeah right,' look.

"Besides, everyone knows they're more like guidelines instead of actual directions," he said, still unreasonable. "The real know how comes from up here."

He tapped his head and JJ nearly burst out laughing—nearly, because her beautiful living room was nowhere to be found.

But, he really was too cute, she mused, afraid that he wouldn't be a real man if he relied on the godforsaken instructions. There really was only one solution to this problem, where she would get her living room back and wardrobe and he could still keep his manliness. She just hoped he would make the right choice.

"Aaron, honey," JJ started again in that same stern tone. "I've got Henry and Jack practically locked up upstairs in their rooms playing for now. But there's only so much cops and robbers they can play before they get bored or hungry and want to come down here."

"But—"

It was her turn to cut him off. "And," she said pointedly. "This little guy is not going to stay in here forever," she patted her protruding belly. "When the baby comes I'd like to have a place where I can store all his things."

"JJ, I know, but—"

"So, you've got a choice to make," she offered up. "You can either let me and the instructions help you out or… I'll call Dave up and I won't even bite his head off when he makes any jokes towards your apparent lesser manhood."

Hotch looked utterly defeated. She hated that look, but her kids needed free reign of the house and her new baby would need storage. Hotch was the best profiler she knew, but handyman he was not.

"What's it going to be?" she prompted.

Hotch looked from her, to the mess around him, back to his wife. "I guess… I'll take you," he said sullenly.

JJ smiled in triumph. "Good choice!" she exclaimed, flipping through the sheets for the first page. "Now, step 1…"

* * *

"Here it is!" JJ exclaimed, throwing open the door to the nursery.

"Oh wow, guys," Emily said enthusiastically, "This looks amazing."

JJ stood off to the side with her husband, his arm lovingly around her shoulders, while they let their two guests, Emily and Morgan, admire the handy work that was their future son's nursery.

The walls were a bright yellow, with various baby friendly decals stuck here and there. The far end of the room contained the crib, which was a blue whirlwind of bedding and stuffed animals. Also at that end were other baby necessities that they would need.

The corner closer to the door had a beautiful cherry oak wardrobe in it that caught your eye almost instantly.

"Thanks," JJ answered Emily's praise demurely.

"Everything looks great," Derek agreed, and he walked over to the wardrobe. "But this is awesome. Did you guys do this yourselves?"

Hotch opened his mouth to answer, but JJ was quicker.

"I didn't. Aaron put it together all by himself," she explained. "He was done in like 30 minutes. I don't even remember seeing him pick up the instructions."

Derek whistled low in appreciation.

JJ avoided looking at Hotch for the moment; she knew he'd have a 'what the heck?' look on his face.

"Wow," Emily said again addressing Hotch. "Maybe you can come over sometime and give Derek some pointers. We've had a shoe rack waiting to be assembled for God knows how long."

"Hey," Derek protested. "I just haven't had the time."

"You know," Emily continued, ignoring him. "He says he never saw any instructions, that it didn't come with any, but I think he hid them or threw them out on purpose. It's almost adorable."

JJ and Emily shared a laugh.

"_Hello_," Derek tried again. "Still in the room…"

JJ patted Hotch's arm. "I'm lucky to have such a handy guy…"

Emily agreed and they all shared another laugh at Derek's expense.

JJ suggested that they all head downstairs for some coffee. Emily and Derek preceded them. JJ was about to go next when Hotch held her back.

"Thanks," he told her affectionately.

She leaned up and gave him a quick peck. "No problem. I know you went through a lot of trouble to get this room perfect. You deserve to be revered as an _IKEA Builder God._"

He laughed. "An IKEA builder God?"

She grimaced. "I'll come up with a better title. But you know what I mean… Thank you for all this."

"You're welcome," he said sincerely, pulling her in for a long kiss.

When they broke apart, she took his hand and started to lead the way out. "Come on my IKEA builder God!"

"Yeah, you really need to come up with something else," he laughed.

* * *

Well that's it! I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think.

Thanks to **ilovetvalot **and **tonnie2001969** for coming up with these awesome challenges!


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